


Trapped

by LeiUmbrella



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22400734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeiUmbrella/pseuds/LeiUmbrella
Summary: Cursed with the ability to remember his past life, Evan Cho spends his days and nights regretting the choices the past him made, back in the 1940s. When his skin touches the skin of another with whom he shares his past life with, he remembers their previous memories. But not the other person.In 2020, he meets the new social worker at the orphanage he works at. And when their hands touched, he knew immediately: this man, Wooseok, was the 'woman' who plagues his dreams, the one he remembers as his soulmate. The one he loved and hurt in the past.And he'll stop at nothing to make Wooseok happy again in this lifetime, even if his happiness is now shared with someone else.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Hangyul
Kudos: 12





	Trapped

“Agusta… no…. I’m sorry, no…”

Seungyoun doesn’t remember exactly when it started. These dreams. _Him,_ holding the deceased body of a young woman, desperately shaking her in an attempt to wake her, crying and screaming and regretting, uttering words in a language he once was unfamiliar with. And on other nights, he dreams of _them_ , happily laughing together, dreaming of a future they never had.

Seungyoun doesn’t remember when he started dreaming these dreams. But he does. Again. And Again. And Again.

Like today.

“ _Kuya_ Evan, still dreaming about Agusta, huh?” He heard Hangyul’s voice, still gravelly from having just woken up. The younger boy walked toward his bed and gently nudged his leg, “ _Kuya,_ it’s already 7AM. Forget those dreams for a while and just wake up now. We’ve got a long day today. We always do, don’t we?”

“You’re acting so nonchalant, like you’ve never had these dreams, Hangyul.” Seungyoun sighed, holding his pillow even more tightly, unable to process the dream.

Hangyul’s expression hardened, momentarily darkening before he forced yet another smile. “What’s the use of ruminating over dreams from the past, right?”

“I want to see her again. If she’s also in this lifetime, I want to see her again, be with her again.”

“What for?”

“In my dreams, I saw her smile. With me. Because of me. But I…” taking a deep breath, “I also saw her die. In my arms. Because of me.” He finally sat up as he continued, “Maybe I just want to see her smile and be happy in this lifetime again, whoever she might be now.”

“That’s very selfish of you.”

Indeed, he wanted to agree. And maybe it was this selfishness that brought his downfall in his previous lifetime.

~

Walking outside of the staff house and toward the office, Hangyul awkwardly put his arm on his shoulder, “ _Kuya,_ sorry. It might have been insensitive of me.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” Seungyoun said, trying to mask any remnant of hurt in his voice. “How do you cope with your dreams, Gyul?”

“I don’t.”

The unexpected answer incited a loud laugh from Seungyoun, “You don’t?”

“No. I just live with it. The fortuneteller I visited told me that people who had plenty of regrets in the past sometimes have their concerns and thoughts carried over until their next life. It’s their, for the lack of a better word, punishment.”

“ _Our_ punishment, you mean.”

“Exactly, it’s _our_ punishment. Who’d have thought I’d find someone like me in my workplace?” At that, Seungyoun shrugged, and just prompted Hangyul to continue, “Anyway, what I did in the past wasn’t a good thing. I can imagine the same applies to you. And the truth is, I just…” he halted, sighing deeply before continuing, “I just don’t want to see anyone I have good memories with in the past here in this timeline. It’ll pain me too much, because I don’t think I deserve to be a part of their lives in this life, not after what I did back then.”

After a two-minute walk, they finally reached the office. Hangyul had the psychometrician’s office all to himself, while Seungyoun shares the social workers’ office with the head social worker and the new social worker he has yet to meet. Before entering their respective offices, Hangyul asked, “What will you even do if you do meet her?”

Seungyoun merely shook his head, and his silence was enough for Hangyul to know that he himself doesn’t know what. Hangyul awkwardly changed the topic, “I heard from Ma’am Jane that the new social worker will have his first day today? He was already given a copy of the lock in your office. He’s probably there now?”

“Yeah, I heard from ma’am Jane too,” Seungyoun said, referring to the head social worker, “I’ll introduce you guys later.”

Inside the social workers’ office, an unfamiliar man was sitting idly behind the new table, humming quietly until he saw Seungyoun.

The man stood up, and Seungyoun found himself surprised at the physical perfection of the man in front of him: his complexion fair and his skin devoid of any flaws. Seungyoun silently wonders if the man has even done any field work, and if he has, how has he maintained his looks?

His nonsense thoughts were put to a pause when the man held his hand toward him, slightly looking upward to meet his eyes. The man was taller than the average Filipino (much taller than any of the staff in the orphanage, and more so than any of the teenage boys their orphanage houses), but still shorter than he is.

“I’m Wooseok, it’s nice to meet you.” Wooseok said, his voice unexpectedly quite low. Seungyoun gave him a smile, “My name is Seungyoun, but everyone here calls me Evan,” he said, reaching out to Wooseok’s hand to shake it.

(And when their hands touched, Seungyoun experienced it all over again: all the memories came back flooding. The memories of the Filipino man and woman, dreaming of a future torn by colonizers who hurt them all. And the memories of the Filipino woman dying in his arms because of his greed.)

“Evan? You can let go now.” Wooseok said, shifting uncomfortably and awkwardly.

“Oh.. sorry. I.. you just” Seungyoun stuttered, “You just look a lot like someone.. like someone I knew.”

“Oh.. I suppose that does happen. Anyway, have you been in the Philippines for a while now?”

“No.. I mean, yeah. I lived here for most of my life.”

Wooseok finally gave a small smile, “Oh. It’s my first time meeting a fellow Korean here. You are Korean, right?” Seungyoun just nodded. “Well… I hope we can work well together.”

_“What will you even do if you do meet her?”_

As it turns out, the only thing Seungyoun can possibly do is nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Updates will be sporadic.
> 
> Anyway, holler at me at @LeiUmbrella :D


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